Hmmm, ok, let's see. On item #1 my first instinct would be to be out when he's supposed to be home but then you mentioned the game of chicken and now I'm curfuffled. That's a toughie. What if you're home mid cake making but have somewhere to go soon after he arrives home? Ugh, this all seems so contrived. Don't play the game. If you're home, be home. If you're not, fine. What would you be doing if he weren't due home? Do THAT!! Loudly and with music on!
The second thing, I'd make the cake. Worst thing that happens? He gives you a woefully insufficient thank you but even then there's still cake and there are few downsides to cake, IMO. Have no expectations. You're a nice person who makes cakes for birthdays. Would you do that for a room mate? Sure you would. Bake on!
I'm anxious for you about tomorrow. Eat blueberries and walnuts... Good foods to combat anxiety (I am a wealth of useless information... Until that information becomes useful, hee hee). Please let us know how everything goes but make sure you start the day with NO expectations. Take care of you and breathe!!
