So reading here ... and I really like to say what a great forum this is, people are positive and seem to be truly pro marriage and its refreshing as all the things I have gone through I know it would be a quick reaction to say run and start your life, I just dont want a life without my family, her , and my son ... but I know I can not say that aloud
So today she texted me ... apologizing for last night, I really didn't think much of it but looking at the exchange it seems the OM somehow disappointed her or something happened. She seemed to be trying to take it out on me and I deflected and basically wished her a good rest of her night and left it at that. She told me this morning that "Its my personal life I'm tormented by, I just need to get away alone" I didnt engage and wished her a good day. We have our free consultation with the mediator tomorrow, I know its been wrecking her as this is as close as we have been to actual divorce talks. I dont think deep down she wants this ...
Some back ground so you Vets can possibly shed some light. Her mother was diagnosed Bi-Polar, as was her sister .. reading up on this she is right at the age .. 42 .. so that mixed in with a little MLC and I have been on one hell of a ride .. factor in I was not always engaged emotionally with the increase of fights over the past couple years.
I have spent the time we have been seperated working on me, I lost about 20 lbs ... better job, I DJ'd 3 nights a week (Thurs/Fri/Sat) and I dropped all but the Friday nights ... still paying off some bills with that gig (This was a sore spot as it left her alone alot ... I have apologized for this and know it was a mistake to be gone)
So now I have taken a stance to not apologize or engage in talks about the past .. she loves to rehash ... and I just dont see the point. she has been texting me all day telling me about her work, the stress she is under and I have replied with the validation tips from this site.
I will keep adding as we go as that seems to be the way things work here .. thanks for the site and the ear.
