Is this a good sign? What do I do now?

[2Times2Many]

I've been around for a while, but haven't posted in some time. My old posts are on the MLC board, but I thought I'd move here since I'm not convinced it's a MLC and there seems to be a little more "action" on this board. Sorry, this may be a little long. I will have to give some background first.

For all practical purposes, WAH and I have been separated for nearly a year. H works in another city and comes "home" about every 4 to 6 weeks to tend to the business the two of us own together. He usually stays here at the house, but has stayed at relatives or a hotel (at my request) a couple of times.

I've been working with an IC and have spent the last 4 to 6 months accepting that I may be a single woman in the future ... and making good progress. I was actually getting to a pretty good place - at least when H wasn't around.

Whenever H is here, I get all kinds of talk about the kind of life he wants, which doesn't include me (except as a business partner) or living in this city. I hear how much he doesn't feel for me now, etc. I have just kept my mouth shut and not let him see that it hurts me, although it's very painful.

IC has been telling me that I needed to somehow let H know just how much he is/has hurt me - not just this time, but the last time we went through something similar. So when he was home a few weeks ago, I did. I basically told him that I knew we would be divorced already if it weren't for our business, that I wasn't made of stone and I didn't want to hurt anymore. I talked for nearly an hour about all the things I had thought and felt for the past 5 years (since his first EA). I told him that I didn't trust him not to hurt me again. He listened and said that he was glad I told him and that what I had said totally changed what he thought about the last few years.

I had been rather scarce with contacting him prior to that, but went almost completely dark when he left. I would only communicate with him when he called to check on things at the office and then I would only discuss business.

A few days after he left, he texted and asked if I would allow him to join me on a trip I had planned because he thought we needed to talk. I had reservations, but told him it was okay.

When he came home, he was very attentive ... lots of hugs, kisses on the cheek, etc. That stuff had been non-existent for almost a year.

The trip started out great. We talked about what each of us had been thinking for the past few years, where the communication break down may have come from, all kinds of R stuff. But, we also talked about how to divide up property, etc in a D. We did touristy stuff and he held my hand while we walked a couple of times. He "attacked" me and we ML once. Then on the last night, I had one too many cocktails and kind of had a meltdown. My IC said the combination of D talk, an extremely stressful life event and alcohol was not a good combination. Oh well.

When we came home, he was back to cold and distant. I was kind of down because that was a huge backslide, but muddled through.

A couple of days before he was due to leave, we got into an argument about some business issues. He got mad, packed his bags and went to stay with relatives. I just told him that it was frustrating to try to talk to him sometimes because he would get angry and defensive and then just leave without trying to sort things out. Then I left the room and let him leave.

The next day he came to the house for a previously arranged business meeting with one of the employees. After the employee left, he asked if I wanted to talk. At first I said no, then told him that I was tired of living this way and couldn't do it anymore. I told him that I could probably handle the distance issue IF we had some kind of meaningful relationship when he was at home, but we didn't even come close. I told him that he had walked away and basically abandoned me and his life here and I didn't want to live that way anymore. He said he had not walked away, so I pointed out that when he came "home" he lived out of a suitcase like a guest. A few more non-angry words were exchanged and he left.

The next day he asked me to go to dinner with him. We had a very pleasant dinner. He said it was so good to hear my cheerful "hello" when he called the office ... that he missed hearing my voice. He said he enjoyed taking care of little things for me (I had told him that I felt that if something, God forbid, happened to him, I would have to handle little problems myself and might as well learn to do it, and that's why I didn't tell him about plumbing problems or car problems, etc.) He told me he was tired of living like this, too. He said he was tired of living out of a suitcase but asked for time to sort things out (with his job in the city where he lives).

Before he left, he gave a genuine hug and a peck on the lips and said he'd miss me. He left me a small gift (something someone had given to him that he thought I could use) and a note signed "love you." It was quite a shock to me!

There was an OW, a PA, that he hooked with in his city, but I don't know if she's still in the picture. I do know he is not happy where he is -- he says he is "comfortable" and is trying to make the best of the mess he's made (my words, not his).

Although there were issues while he was here and on the trip, this is the first time I have seen any kind of affection or "loving" words from him in nearly a year.

What do I do now? I don't know if opening up to him got his attention, or if it was going very dim, or if it was telling him I had had enough or what?

Some input would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry this was so long. Thank you for wading through it.