On the brink, need a miracle

[Onguard]

Thanks for encouragement. Knowing that your was's feelings switched so dramatically does give me some hope. My waw has admitted that her feelings are changing daily and that she has no idea what she is doing or what she wants. Here is the latest development:

We had previously agreed that when the time was right we would both sit down with our 13D and let her know that mom and dad were having some disagreements... Well, my waw decided that today was the day and that I didn't need to be a part of it. When I got home she told me that she had spoken to our daughter and told her that "Mom is going to move to an apartment, you will have a room with me and keep your room here, we don't know if we are going to divorce (my daughter asked) but right now we need to be apart." So, I talked to my daughter alone after hearing this. As soon as I knocked on her bedroom door she threw her arms around me and started sobbing. Which turned me into a blubbering wreck. I held her and told her that it would be ok. That we were just having a rough time but everything will be ok. Then my waw went to spinning class.

Waw is evidently very angry over being told to leave the house. I could see it oozing out of her pores. So, she told our daughter and proclaimed to me that she has some places lined up to tour tomorrow. I said "I don't appreciate you telling our daughter and not following our agreement" to which she replied, "That's you, always judging me. You should not have told me to leave the house if you didnt want our daughter involved." I walked away and she left the house.

I am heading out of town tonight and will come back Friday afternoon. I will not contact her while I am gone. I really don't think separation is going to help our cause at all. But I meant what I said about not sitting around while she waits for the AP to change his mind. She needs to feel the consequences of her choices. So far, no consequences have been felt.

Lastly, I saw my counselor today. He is suggesting that I give her some space but do not encourage separation as that rarely helps. He thinks I need to just walk the walk and love her. Basically, act as if the affair was a wake up call for both of us. Consider it over and move forward with the confidence that your wife loves you and behave in a manner that helps her to fall back in love with you. Let go of the anger and just be the best that you can be. No judgements, no control, no insecurity. This is easier said than done...