This morning I've woken up with a better mindset, part of my anger yesterday was more to do with hurt, when I saw that h had booked a hotel (and an expensive one at that) for his trip to the city next week, it hurt because we never did that, and similarly, that he's taking her to events that I would have gone to...now, but during my negative phase I would have automatically said no, to punish him and be in control. then I think the anger is more to do with me, that I got myself into this position, and now I'm working my way through. The ow really is nothing, an extension of the addiction to making h feel happy, would he have been tempted by her if he was truly in a good place? I know him well enough to say no, did I majorly contribute to the sitch, hell yes. that I can see that now is huge. The ow is a game player, this I do know, and is not happy that I'm a large part of H's life, this won't change for quite a while given the age of our boys, and the fact that we are, at the core, friends. I am happy with the way I handled family night last night, I contained my anger, and actually felt it dissipate, only backslid a tiny bit, and interestingly enough, it was then that h reaches out for physical contact with a hug, which I let be brief (always the rescuer is my h) I made the decision(to see the response) to text h later in the night to see if he'd managed to get the last of his stuff our of the garage at the old house. I didn't expect much of a response, given I have the boys, and he would probably be with ow. I was pleasantly surprised by his response, just light hearted banter, a nice way to end the night. An easy end to an average day.. today I have clients, this is good, good for the coffers, good for me to interact, I've got friends coming over tomorrow night and I'm rreally looking forward to that.
