Well, I've been shopping around for an SBT that is preferably in my network. I ended up talking to one on the phone for ~15 min. He said to STOP pursuing H even if it KILLS me. He said that h is operating on defending himself and feels threatened that he will lose his individuality. He said that I am operating out of fear. (We know this.)
So, if I quit pursuing...How does this relate to deciding what to do on a given evening. We typically tell each other a few days ahead of time if we are going out w/our friends or whatever. HE did initiate the planning for this weekend, so I need to go with it and be happy about it. So, that shouldn't be an issue. Lest he decides that he doesn't want to go anywhere with me.
I play vball Tuesdays for the next month or so. The leader of the bike club is already asking me about climbing next week, so I will prob. do that one day. *Did I mention that one of my old bf's is in the bike club and wants to climb too? I told h about it and he didn't say much. H has met him before and if we bike with this club will again. I also exchanged email addresses with a couple girls that want to climb too. One of them sounds like she is already addicted! yay!
Goal: to not have a red nose & puffy eyes when I go home. Forget about last night and the last 4 years (not really) and start over...again...Back to the DB drawing board. How do I maintain my dignity in all of this? thanks! karen
