Lastly, I need to continue to be the best dad I can be and GAL. The Stockdale paradox was helpful. I have to accept the brutal facts that the woman I loved for 30 years is gone. The life we had is gone and will never be the same. She does not love me now and may never love me again. This is ok and my life's purpose is bigger than my relationship with my spouse. I can be happy without her, or any other individual, in my life.
There. Fixed it for you.
OG, don't overdo this. Yes, your OLD marriage is dead and gone, but I'm sure you would BOTH admit that there were things about it that NEEDED burying. Many people do, however, successfully reconcile and put together a brand NEW marriage, that was even better than before. I did, and Train is well on her way too. There are many others.
And even post-D, about 20-25% remarry, nearly all reporting that the new marriage was FAR better than the original one.
You're not done here . . . not by a long shot. 5 DAYS before my wife came to be tearfully expressing her never-ending love for me and pleading with me to help her, she was telling her OM that "No one ever did it for me like you do" and saying ILYs.
It's a wild ride . . . get your spew jacket ready and hang on, brother.
