She left her notebook on the desk in her office. I know I need to stop snooping but I could not resist. It was a type of rough journal where she listed the things she would miss about me and the things she would miss about her ap. I think it was her prep for the counseling. You can imagine that I did not fare too well on this comparison. I wouldn't expect to but seeing it on paper, in my wife's handwriting, was still like a dagger in the throat. She had 3 things listed for me. Financial security, comfort zone and family. (So really that is zero things about me). For him she had 7, including passion, excitement, trainer, shared interests.. How can you compare a 30 year relationship to a 6 month affair?
I'm sorry, OG -- I know that must really sting. My wife too left all kinds of handwritten notes and scribbles around -- journaling, "budgeting" (if you want to call it that -- she had her "Botox payments," but not any mention of things like, you know, "Utilities" or "Food") and it really is a kick in the gut. If it weren't so junior high'ish it might hurt even more. Please do know that it's entirely SCRIPT, however, and that your wife's brain is awash in endorphins right now (PEAs) that account for most of the euphoria she's feeling at the moment.
"Good deal" on the legal and financial moves you've made already; you are WAY ahead of most who land here, and sound like you have a good gameplan in place thus far.\
You CAN'T compare a 30-year marital relationship with a 6-month, intrigue-filled affair. At least not right now she can't. As more people find out about the affair, and she begins to see her OM in all his warts and glory, some of that will change. For right now, all you can do is protect yourself, protect your KIDS, and work on yourself.
