If you were to tell me that my wife will absolutely come back to me tomorrow, I'd jump on that ship in a heartbeat.
Of course, but there are no guarantees. All you can do is increase your odds by bettering yourself. Bettering yourself has a guaranteed payoff for you, and may attract her back. Moving on right now does nothing to better you or preventing you from making the same mistakes in the future.
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I need to move on because the likelihood of that happening are very slim.
So what do you want? A better you with long odds on saving M, or the same old you, with guaranteed odds on the destruction that D offers?
mindsin, I can't and won't tell you what to do, but consider: - The comfort of another woman will make you feel better, immediately, for a while. - Will you have done the best for your kids? - Will you ever regret not trying harder? - Will you be able to say to your kids that you gave your best shot at giving them a stable home life? - What did your vows mean to you? - What is the example you want to set for your kids?
There are no right answers, only answers that you can live with.
As to moving too fast, yes, I think you are. It is completely natural, especially for men, to need to do something to change the situation. You will see it repeated all over this board that this is a marathon, not a sprint.
Something else I will add is that you can always move on, at any time. You can always get a D. But once done, those things are hard to undo. Why do you need to do that right now? You know that affairs die, things will change. Are you happy that you are the best you can be, and have no more work to do on yourself or your relationship with your kids before throwing in the towel?
I'd recommend slowing way down. Finish the book. Think about it for a few weeks, then read it again.
Realize that your emotional state right now will affect your decision making negatively. More than ever, you need to not make life-changing decisions for your family in haste.
