I wonder if being a good guy pre MLC is a coping strategy for some, just as drugs and drinking are for others.
They are wearing a mask to help them cope. My xh is adamantly against both therapy and anti depressants. He thinks they mess with your mind, and perhaps to someone whose self construct is fragile, it is a frightening prospect.
It sounds like your husband is running away from everything. Trying to find 'himself' whoever that person is. They just seem to no longer have what it takes to truly care about others. Loss of empathy, or whatever.
