This is a tough one Zues. Especially since it involves your own flesh and blood. Feels like a stab in the back i'm sure. I'm not here with a 2x4 but a gentle nudge.
What you're feeling is a natural response. It feels like a betrayal. I resent the fact that my in-laws have suddenly gone MIA and here I thought they were good, caring Christians who loved me and the kids and that we're family. But here I am. I called them a couple times in the beginning for advice and at first they suggested that H and I sit down and really talk it out. That would have been a great idea except H has already moved on to better things and was not interested in talking. And then after a while I was getting the polite "you're on your own but we don't have the guts to tell you that in plain words because we're Christians" speech that I stopped calling altogether. What a way to treat family, huh? Sorry, I guess I had to get that out.
Your W is going to gravitate towards anyone who will support her, remember? It can be anyone. Your sis seems to have had her fair share of pain and so "empowering" herself is her method of coping. Instead of dealing with her M problems she decided to put a band aid on it with another relationship. Correct me if I'm wrong on any of that, please. But, when people aren't looking I betcha she still hurts.
You don't have to agree with your sis beliefs on M and you don't have to listen either. Tell her you disagree and share what your beliefs on M are. Or, you can just nod your head and go about your way and pray. Sis does not seem to share in the sanctity of M but she's not the enemy. I'll give you one guess who is and to him no one is off limits. Be on guard because he will use your emotions to get to you.
Oh, I've started this great book called "Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry. It seems geared more towards business pursuits but it has section on relationship management. They posit that success in the world is no longer solely based on your IQ but on your EQ. I think this should be a prerequisite to all newbies as a means to get their emotions in check. By understanding our emotions...the why's and how to's, I believe we can all be better DBers. At least it's better than flailing around in which ever direction the wind blows, right?
