I am feeling overwhelmed tonight. I would say that lately I have many more good days than bad. I am in control of myself and keep ow that is all I control.

I love s more than anything but sometimes the yelling and hitting (me and mlc dog) is too much. His anxiety continues to worsen. Constantly screaming for Dad and wants to know where he is. I tru to, give him something. "Dad is out let's leave him a voicemail" or something like that but developmentally he does not understand what is going on.

H hates that I have s in therapy. He sees it as another example of my failure as a mother. (don't worry I don't believe him) and I hate the idea if increasing s meds (he is already on 3 for mood aline)

I completely blame h for this. I know he is not in control of himself right now but I still blame him.

And it makes me mad that I blame him because I am working so hard to release negativity.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15