What you are going through emotionally is quite normal. Michelle Weiner Davis says that you will probably feel shock, disbelief, rage, anger, hurt, devastation, disillusionment, and intense sadness. She says these are normal feelings and normal emotions given the situation. She says to know for the time being, your emotions are in the driver's seat and as difficult as that might be, it's completely normal.
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Just got off the phone with my DB coach. She thinks the situation so far has had some encouraging progress, but some notable setbacks.
I have to stop getting myself involved in arguments with her, especially about the affair or our past. I have to control my anger. I have to stop contacting the OMW.
Approach pursuit tactics very carefully. If I can get a full week of "good days" (no arguments or conflicts), then I can build on that. I haven't had more than two or three consecutive "good days" since D-day, four weeks ago.
I have to keep my good attitude and detach. Give her the freedom she so desires without stepping over any boundaries that we've both established.
Listen to your Coach. They are the experts and are TRAINED in these things. Just like when you need advice on legal matters one goes to a lawyer. Same in marriage problems. Divorce Busting Coaches are PROFESSIONALS. Listen to your Professionally trained coach. She gave you some small short term attainable goals.
The rest of us are mere amateurs. Our advice is free.. and you know what they say.. "you get what you pay for...
Your Coach gave you a good game plan as a starting point. Start there. Use a Professional trained in these situations, then use the books to refer back to what your Coach advised you to do.....
