Dawgy, I've been exactly in your shoes only 4 months ago. Weeping. Crazy with jealousy. Not knowing what to do. Thinking it's totally over. Then I read and reread DB & DR and set my mind to it. I know it's incredibly hard and totally counterintuitive, but I think it's the only way. It certainly seems to have worked for me, so far so good.
If you want something to disappear, first you must let it flourish. If you want something to diminish, first you must let it expand. That's just the way.
Very good that you didn't pressure her. That would just drive her away faster and farther. I know it seems totally contrary but, seriously, that's the way it works.
She is creating a false world in her head. She will spew lies. She will try to rewrite history. It's something that she has to go through that has really nothing to do with you. Let her go through the stages. You have your own stages to go through, and this is one of them.
Hopefully sooner than later she will succumb to her own façade and start to see the light. But you cannot push her or reason with her. It will only drive her farther away.
Work on yourself. Improve yourself. Make a plan for yourself and execute it. Consider it a full time job.
M: 59 W: 53 M: 9 yrs T: 14 yrs No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine) W moved out 11/18/2013 D-Day 12/14/2013 W moved back home 12/1/2014
