Right now your W is basically still out the door. The ideal time to save it would have been when SHE asked for counseling last year. With the C session last night, she's just going through the motions but her heart isn't in it. That's how it seems from the conversation you describe. The C was leading her into discussion and it wasn't voluntary from her. She was guarded.
The WAS usually only goes to C to go through the motions. They think that the C will bring their feelings back without understanding that the actually have to DO something for that to happen. Then when they don't "feel" that the feelings are there (after not doing anything) they believe that the M is "dead" and that they don't have feelings for the LBS any more, etc.
That's why you need to be cautious. See how she ACTS and if she is doing the work. Another book and site I would recommend is Project Happily Ever After. You can have her read it as it is from the POV of a WAS who actually did the work as a last ditch effort to save her M.
The work will be done for the 45 minutes at home. I am pretty sure. Isn't that doing something?. However, getting her to read the book/site..... I feel she would take that as trying to change her mind and would not do it. Would that not be a pursuit? Getting her to say to me " do you want to come back to counseling?" To me last night was huge. He had just gotten her to admit that she got something out of it and that it felt good to at least be moving forward. She wanted to come back if I did. Although I feel that he was trying to soften her so she can examine this sitch with another POV.
Last edited by NewB3; 07/29/1408:22 PM.
Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14 I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
