Great discussion, It may not be the OW that pulled him away. With my W she stayed a year after B-day. Every time things started to get a little bit better, she would find a way to pull away even more. I think she had gotten it into her head that running was the answer and when anything started to make her question that, it frightened her. She had committed herself to me and her 'bad marriage" being the cause of her pain and if it wasn't, what WAS the cause? Certainly NOT her or any "problem" she may have. She would say she tried so many things to fill the void in her life (being a stay at home mom, throwing herself into work when she went back, losing weight and getting in shape, etc.) but nothing worked so it MUST be me and our M! I think more then anything they use the OP to have someone there that will tell them what they are doing is justified, is the "right" thing to do, along with the high of being seen as desirable. They get little validation from friends and family for what they are doing. OP becomes the one that "gets" them and they can now say they aren't alone in thinking what they are doing is just fine.
