I have yet to see a Jekyll/Hyde MLCer to come out of this process to the other side. I think they're too stuck, too angry at the world, and too self-righteous to even contemplate on undergoing some introspection. Oh my! That would turn their "reason" for leaving upside down and they'd have to admit that they're wrong. Nope. Not happening. Their ego-filled pride prevents them from doing so. Unfortunately.
Deep down I fear that this is my H. He is too prideful to admit he's wrong. I wonder what category my MLCer falls in, the Jekyll/Hyde, the meek or somewhere in between. He definitely was Jekylle and Hyde after BD, and now has mellowed out but I'm so early on that I'm not sure what he'll remain as.
One thing I do wonder about Wonka is the MLCer that flip flop with what they want vs. those that remain consistent with their desire to go. So far in every reconciliation story I've read the MLCer has expressed verbally some form of doubt or confusion as to what they want. They have all said to their W in some form or another that they need time or need to figure things out. The one thing H has been consistent with is only "speaking" about his need to leave but never "speaking" about confusion or uncertainty. He has expressed those thoughts through his actions(#1 sign is hiring an atty 2 months ago but still not filing) but has yet to say those words. Not sure if anyone in his state has ever come out to the other side.
Ssarah, I experienced the same thing with my h. The same behaviors, totally. He would get so emotional and upset at the idea of us "ending" but would say, "I gotta go" and run out of here so quickly. It was like something took over him and he wouldn't let himself feel. Something was definitely pulling him away (and now we know what-or whom!) He has, over the years, shown some anger. I believe it was the depression turned inward, and the hurt expressed as anger (the way Terrance Real describes), but after he moved out, it was monster. Monster was different. After monster, he would call the next day and apologize. He would be very quiet and soft-spoken. There would only be an apology- no explanation of anything. Then usually we would just talk normally or as friends.
