I find this discussion very interesting. I do find Wonka's evaluation of who can make it out the other side sad ad my h is definitely one of the mean ones. It does fit however as he has very poor coping skills and began drinking and using drugs in early teens. When things got very stressful that is what he returned to.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15