Good morning everyone, Well, things are quiet but I feel like there is something waiting to happen, some new horror my W is planning to dump on me just around the corner! It's an odd but familiar feeling. I now see how much my M was like that before my W left. Always waiting for her to act out, do something spiteful after one of her blow ups.
I've learned so much by reading about other peoples sitchs. I think I know why my W acted the way she did. She knows she is wrong. She uses her tantrums as an avoidance mechanism, if she acts out, brings up all the other stuff like she did (like saying we didn't spend as much as we did or that I should have made more money like I was somehow at fault, etc.) it takes the subject off of what she is doing, how she is acting at that moment. Every time she doesn't get her way this is what she does. She goes off like a 14 year old yelling about how she had to leave because of this or that, tries to get me angry and say something that she can twist into looking like I'm being unreasonable. As long as she gets what she wants she will act calm and "reasonable" but the moment that she might have to give up something she wants, all he$$ breaks loose. It's so sick and twisted. Here is a woman who left me with no money, told me to get a second, min. wage job while she's making $8,000 a month and not telling me that she stopped putting money in our joint accounts and letting me pay the bills until the account was overdrawn. After 25 years together and me being the sole money provider for most of that time, she was willing to leave me without a penny and she thinks she's been more than fair.
The thing is I think the whole blow up thing effected my D14 more than I thought. She is being very standoffish and angry since Sunday. She leaves the room when I try and talk to her or join her watching TV. How can her mother act this way and not care about how it hurts her D? Every time I start to feel like maybe things can get better, maybe everything will be OK, my W has to find some new drama to pull all the attention right back on her!
Well, I can no longer avoid the fact that she is not going to be happy unless she gets everything she wants in this D. Nothing short of my totally giving in to anything SHE thinks is "right" is acceptable to her. Who is this person? I don't know who she has become and I don't like this person one bit. She is so selfish and cold and wanting to be a victim. How can you be a victim of your own actions? They all do this, the WAS's ,it seems. Even the kitty kat ones find some way to play the victim card. God, how can so many people change so much so quickly? Not see the hurt and pain they cause everyone around them or better yet, see it and not care? Mother's who hurt their kids, fathers who abandon theirs. What is happening in the world?
This blog is just a tiny portion of the people who are dealing with MLC yet here you see hundreds of people dealing with lives forever changed because of their S's "journey of self discovery". How many more men and women are out there feeling like we do but not knowing or understanding why their wonderful, loving H/W has suddenly become a character out of a bad B movie? They will have their lives destroyed, their hearts ripped open and never know why. Then there's the kids.What are they learning watching their mom or dad become someone totally different. Someone who doesn't care anymore and they can no longer count on. Are they now destined to go through the same chit later in their life?
Sorry to be such a downer this morning. I just want to get on with my dang life, want my kids to have "normal" lives once again and I can never seem to take a step forward without my W trying to kick me back.
