advice needed - please help

[stacey9]

Thank you so much Zues126 for your wise words. You are absolutely right in what you say. If I'm totally honest I think I became the type of woman who was so absorbed in her marriage and what he was up to and what he was thinking I lost sight of who I really was and what made me happy. I very rarely went out with friends. I did the exact same things in the evening and at weekends. I was always waiting on him changing his ways, where really it should have been me who got a life outside the marriage and made myself happy, not relying on him making me happy.

If I'd known about this site and the books a year ago, maybe things could have been different. I was always snooping through his stuff looking for things, it's as if I wanted to catch him out. Although when I did I was always furious. If I'd been more laid back about things and let him do what he wanted, maybe his thoughts of going out with his friends and flirting etc would not have been so desirable.

Now I'm frightened that this OW is perfect for him and he's never been happier. I have not mentioned her to him since I seen them together, and I know he would have been expecting a rant from me.

When he comes round tomorrow for the talk about finances, I'm probably better not to mention the appointment with the lawyer the following week - it might get his back up. I don't have a clue what he's going to say, although I suspect it may be something like he can't afford to keep paying x, y or z, and that I should contribute more. I am already paying all the bills. I hope he doesn't want to sell the house. I will try and be calm and nice, although I don't expect him to be. He has became the perfect stranger.

Thanks again for your wisdom
Stacey x