You have given me tons of great advice. I would like to share my perspective, which perhaps will only confuse you.
You need to be happy. But you also need to make sure that you are working on improving your marriage, which also will make you happy. If you H loves your confidence when you are doing your own thing, planning to study to be a lawyer, etc., then think about what specifically you are doing that he finds attractive. What is it about Train that is different? As stated above, it simply could be that you are independent and know that if this M did not work out, you would be fine. But when you go back to the SAHM scenario, perhaps your confidence wanes because you no longer have financial independence and come to rely on your H too much. There has to be a middle ground.
About my sitch...my W has worked always and I love that she does. I know she would not like being a SAHM. So I want her to be happy. I always have supported her in her career. I believe the happiness is very attractive. If my wife was a SAHM, I believe that it would hurt our R (let's ignore for now that she asked for a D and is having a EA/PA to which she will not admit).
So what does this mean for you? Find the middle ground. Do freelance work from home AND stay home with the kids? Go become a teacher? Will give you summers off with your kids but also allow you to teach, which appears to be something that you love.
Not sure if my ramblings are helpful or just creating more confusion.
Me: 40, W: 40 M: 15, T: 18 D - 10, S - 7 D announcement 6/7/2014 A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W) Still living together and sharing same bed
