I will share here what I know based on my own experience as a former MLCer.
Originally Posted By: Georgiabelle
H's girlfriend says she has rescued him and h says she saved him. Yet, he says he cannot stand to be alone. I realize there is no answer to the unanswerable, however, is this just distraction? She rescued him from responsibilities? Fatherhood?
With my OW, she was just there/available for the taking. In your H's case, if I remember correctly, he had a very bad meltdown via Twitter when he cried that he just wanted someone to love him. It is the internal angst of someone who's in a ton of pain.
Cue OW for H. As you would remember from reading around here, a lot of the times, those types of OWs are broken people themselves. So for a 18-year old college student, I'd say that she's not yet developed a life experience. In my view, H just grabbed whoever wanted him which is why a lot of the times those A's are "affaired down" affairs (ooohhh..what a play on that word!)
What H does not YET realize is that OW did not save him...but HE needs to save himself. Obviously, he's not yet there at the moment. Not by a long shot given his crazy-making antics.
Does someone going through MLC really think they get a do over on their life?
Yep. We're seeking something that will boost our fragile sense of self. Remember when I shared that I felt I had accomplished nothing, felt gypped that this is what life had to offer me, and feeling squeezed from all corners in our day-to-day responsibilities after buying the house.
So yes, in a way...we're trying to recreate the ideal "life" inside our heads thereby seeking out external relief from our own internal misery.
You are right that it isn't fun to be a MLCer going through MLC. Starring in your own Dante's Inferno...and you're the star of the play. Geeesh!
Bea, you're right that we weren't nice at all in dumping you and the family when the MLC chit hit us. I feel extremely lucky to be one of the few ones who made it through to the other side.
