First post, DENIAL was my HAPPY PLACE!!

[Shining]

Takeavow,
Thank you for your insightful thoughts. As soon as I figured out it is likely MLC, I read that MC is not helpful, and often can do more harm than good. We went the one time after S, but I haven't brought it up since. Luckily, my MC seems to understand MLC and has experience with couples working to reconcile afterward.

The spewing has stopped toward me, for the most part. H adult kids now live with him (temporarily, as we are selling the house). They see the crazy and receive the spew. OW gets spew and yelled at, too, according to H kids.

Yes, SS20 and SD19 are actually reaching out to me now! (Could this GET any crazier? Woah... I felt a 2x4 of "just wait" and "don't even ask". Ouch. )

There has been drama at the house, and H kids have texted me because they don't understand what's going on with H. They call him "psycho". I learned early on, don't try to explain MLC to them, or anyone, really. Since they know about H suicide attempt and depression, it seems to be enough to attribute H behavior toward that.

H also has very low T, which is new. H just found out in May, after a mutual friend suggested he get tested (mutual friend very disturbed by H behavior). H told me about his treatments, which are pellets. Yeah, he's a mess.

Artsy,
Yes, isn't it scary the similarities? We can definitely compare notes. I'm following you closely, Artsy, and LOVE your screen name, btw.

Detaching....aahhhh, the elusive skill of the LBS Masters.....

If, and when, I discover the answer, I'll share how-to if you will!

Maybe it's like in the movie "Limitless" when Bradley Cooper's character takes some pill and suddenly knows everything! ....I digress. Wishful thinking.


GG,
Haha, YES!! Unplug one symptom (motorcycle, car, w), insert another! How are they all the same, but different? And the fact there is not more of a universal awareness of this crisis is a mystery to me, especially with so many here.

Oh, wow....The "I did all my grieving...." H said that, too! I didn't think I wrote about that, so I'm a little freaked out to learn yours said the same! My H also added that I am a little bit behind him, that I'm where he was 4 months ago in the acceptance of our split.... Ummm, I haven't accepted it, dear. (No, I didn't say out loud)

And yes, GG, I do laugh already. I have to laugh. It's not to be disrespectful of anyone in pain. I believe for me, it is truly a coping mechanism. It was handed down to me by my own dad.... He found humor everywhere.