What do you see as being the LRT? You read threads on this board for about half a year before you finally decided to tell your story. What did you learn by reading here all those months? What does MWD advise a man do if his W refuses to stop having an A?
She has hopped from man to man. You keep saying you feel disrespected. But what have you actually done about being disrespected?
Your wife is about as wayward as she can get. This is worse than being in an A with one man. She is going from man to the next. You are living in an open marriage!
What I am seeing is a H who is co-dependent and who lets his W tell him what's what......and he does whatever she says. Why on earth would a man agree to let his W date other men just b/c it's what she wants? What does this say about you as a man, as a H, a leader?
Yes, she is disrespecting you as much as a woman can show it. That's why she isn't attracted to you any longer, b/c she lost respect for you as a man. She keeps doing these horrible things and you roll over and hopes she will take you back. No woman is attracted to a man who will allow her to treat him like that!
My advice, is don't move in with her. It may be popular advice around here, but doesn't mean it always apply in every stitch. In your case, I think it would cause you to appear as accepting the open M. That's the last thing you should do!
You have no kids, so go dark and cut off all contact. Don't take her calls. Don't respond to texts and emails. Don't go to the house and pet sit with the animals. Get them, if you want them, but don't use them as your excuse to go over there. Cut off any financial support. Protect yourself financially, first.
You cannot persuade a woman who is living like this to take you back. She is wild. She is being influenced by the wrong friends. (And of course they would hook her up with a M man!). There are no morals. She has lost them.
You need to stop talking to her friends and family. As far as she and her friends & family are concerned, they need to think you've dropped off the face of the earth.
You really......REALLY need to move forward with your life and become the man you need to be. I think she's headed for a downward spiral at some point. Maybe turn to you if she's in trouble or having a hard time. In the meantime, she'll try to see why you aren't having anything to do with her, so be prepared to stand firm. She may start to find respect if she sees you being strong enough to refuse her crumbs. So no bargaining, persuading, R talks, pleading, etc. You should have set boundaries a long time ago. Have you even thought about it?
I'm sure you may see this as being terribly negative and discouraging from me. I honestly am not trying to tear you down any more than you already are. I am simply cutting to the chase instead of giving a bunch of warm fuzzies and patting you on the head. You need to hear the plain truth about wayward wives, and now so much time has passed that a lot of damage has been done. FWIW, I was a wayward wife. I lost respect and attraction for my H. So I'm trying to tell you what someone should have told him.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
