Thanks for posting Beatrice and Shining.

Bea - I think you're right; we'll just stop 'standing' one day maybe without realizing it. Then it might occur to us that we've finally moved one. I don't know. I just don't feel like I am capable of being 'nice' to him anymore. And the fact that he seems to have NO idea why I should not want to be friendly and talkative with him just blows my mind. That indicates to me how deep he is in that tunnel, and he's very likely still a long way from seeing the light at the end of it.

Shining - I just happened to use the very same word to describe H today - 'fool' - when talking with a friend. It's accurate. And, he is still so lost, after 1 year. I have some more details for you - on your thread. However, I must say, it appears you and I have both worked our butts off this past year trying to understand what is going on and learn how to improve ourselves. The self-improvements are the things you get to keep, no matter what. They will help down the road, whether or not you stay married. BTW, I only feel strong sometimes. Other days, I still fall apart. The good news is those bad days are getting fewer and fewer as time goes on...


Me 53, XH 57
M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids
BD June '13
H moved out July '13
Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14
H filed for D Nov. '14
D March '15