"I know a few members here have some harsh judgements for me, but perhaps others have a little more compassion for what is a very painful and regretful situation. "
First of all, EVERYONE who has posted to you have compassion towards you and your situation. You seem to think that those who can't answer in a way that YOU want aren't compassionate. Think again. A little humility too would serve you well.
As for what you need to do, I don't know what else you expect. Everyone has told you to leave her alone - your coach, the posters, her friends, your fiancee, etc. But for some reason you don't want to seem to accept that.
You cheated on her, complained about her sex life with you, etc. and evidently cheating was the one thing that she won't tolerate. If she had that deep seated boundary within her, there's nothing you can do to change her mind. That has to come from her. Unfortunately you're going to need more patience. Especially since she responded so angrily to you the last time you contacted her. I mean you can keep changing and maybe from word of mouth through your mutual friends, she'll hear about it. But the trust has to be re-established from her end.
Give it more time.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
