Wow, I just read your post. You have been through so much. No need to feel embarrassed or apologize for a long post
I have been lucky in the sense that my h was not abusive nor exceptionally crazy. Hopefully some people here who were or are in a similar situation can come by with advice.
A few thoughts...
- if it's MLC, MC is useless. The MLCer is not one to admit wrongdoing, and you WILL get blamed for everything and anything. If you think it would help you, going to an IC may be a good idea.
- oh, the ow! I like to tell new people here to do an internet search for "affairing down". It is truly enlightening. No big shock that your h didn't leave you for the latest SI swimsuit model. I remember someone telling me that ow isn't special, just convenient. If it wasn't her, it would have been somebody else. Very, very true.
- unfortunately, MLC affairs take a LONG time to run their course. That obsession is so powerful, the escape from reality incredibly addictive. In the long run though, most affairs don't last. It's a relationship built on secrecy, lies, and deceit. The rose- colored glasses come off eventually - then, look out! Lol!
- when he is spewing, walk away, hang up phone, don't respond. It only feeds into his behavior. MLCers have a ton of anger, and guess who gets to be the lucky recipient of all that anger? BINGO!
It really isn't about you.
Keep up the good work, keep GALing, living your life. Focus on you and the kids. Keep posting.
Leave him in la la land
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
