Welcome to the worst best place there is. You will "meet" some incredible people here.
Shining, I like your style. The best way for us to help you is for you to be as honest as you can be.
So, you are doing a bit of mindreading regarding your h. Best not to do that, right?
In the world of MLC, you are still early into this. I always say, you feel how you feel. There are no wrong feelings.
Detaching is a really hard thing to get your mind around. It is a mindset. It is you living your life regardless of what he is saying or doing. It takes time to get there.
You will hear us talk about letting him go. That goes along with detaching. It means you are allowing him to walk his journey. That is the ultimate gift of love. It means you are hearing what he is saying....that he doesnt want to be married right now. You dont have to like it, but, you do have to hear it and live accordingly.
I know that it seems counterintuitive. You think if you dont remain in the forefront of his mind, he will move further away. But the truth is, that he needs to figure himself out without interference from you. In his mind, he is deeply unhappy and you and the marriage are the reasons why.
So, everytime you reach out to him, he is thinking, she isnt hearing me.
The best thing you can do is to allow him to figure out his path. The hope is that he will realize that it wasnt you that was making him unhappy because you arent even around. That can begin his looking inward.
Can you give us an idea of what his complaints were?
Keep working on you. Keep moving forward. Try your best to allow him to figure himself out.
