Oh come on! Your H liked your Z bread. Build up on that. Why not start sending H good morning greetings...you don't have to wait for him to initiate.
Re-attract H...remember that part?
At some point later this week, if possible, I'd pick up H at his work and take him out for 1-hour lunch. Just a fun, breezy gathering. Can you do this?
Not sure Wonka. Since I clearly put out there that the current sitch with OW in his office is not really acceptable and his responses for how to deal with it were weak I feel like we're at a stalemate. The times we need to briefly see/speak to each other it's like the elephant in the room, conversation does not flow as easily and things aren't as relaxed as they were before. I try to keep it light but he's more standoffish than previously. I'm at a bit of a loss how to proceed.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Here's my latest thought. I'm thinking of sending H a letter, although my letters tend to go over like a lead balloon here so I thought I better post and get some feedback on this first!
H, I wanted you to know that I am thinking about you often and hoping you are doing ok with everything. I imagine you have a lot of pressure with new challenges to our situation as well as your expanded role at work. Right now I am just trying to give us both a bit of time and space to process everything but know that I am still here to support you if you ever want to talk. I know I haven’t always been the best listener but I’ve been doing a lot of work to improve that and become stronger in my ability to manage my reactions and be a supportive partner. I am here for you if you need it. Love, MDU
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
I wouldn't. You already have been down that tunnel and know what kind of cheese is there. Just DO what the letter says. It will take longer but will be clearer and more believable. Remember what MWD says about the medium is the message.
I KNOW how hard it is to be patient. But sometimes inaction is action.
Sending you strength and patience...
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Note to self: dance party with the kiddos = instant pick me up
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
H, I wanted you to know that I am thinking about you often and hoping you are doing ok with everything. I imagine you have a lot of pressure with new challenges to our situation as well as your expanded role at work. Right now I am just trying to give us both a bit of time and space to process everything but know that I am still here to support you if you ever want to talk. I know I haven’t always been the best listener but I’ve been doing a lot of work to improve that and become stronger in my ability to manage my reactions and be a supportive partner. I am here for you if you need it. Love, MDU
Words=no Actions=yes!
I winced a bit reading that because you are reaching at straws to explain the new MDU. That will come across as pressure to the WAS.
Keep going with what you'be been doing lately.
I hope you will give the "good morning" text some more thought.
I did the good morning text and got a decent response. Then I tried inviting him to lunch as you suggested and he declined, said he had a meeting. Didn't suggest another day or anything. This is not like him. Things are definitely going downhill. I'd say I need to completely back off at this point, although that's super tough for me since some pursuit used to work. I continue to be stunned by how far backwards we have gone. I'm getting suspicious that something with OW has started up again.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
^^ That is mindreading on your part. You got a decent response to the good morning greeting...that is a positive. As for the lunch, there may have been a conflict in H's schedule. I don't think it had anything to do with the OW.
Remember he just got a promotion and is probably trying to get acclimated to his new responsibilities.
Yeah...just turn the focus back on you and GAL activities for the time being.
