Her advice - keep things non-emotional (reverse of what I did yesterday - give her space - if she wants to talk, just listen - GAL and be a bit mysterious - show her my good qualities - Detach: this is her journey, not mine - be pleasant, act as if - the best thing to do is to NOT do certain things...look at what has not worked and DO NOT do them again - create a safe environment for her to come back to (if she wants) - be kind and decent, don't give her a reason to think I am argumentative or controlling - really work on what is and is not controlling. Do not think that I actually understand this. I clearly do not understand it and need to work on it
All this works!
Believe me I have really Been focused on all of these things myself and the MC says the WAS has noticed!l Just keep doing it...I was and also am somewhat controlling...this is the hardest thing to change.
The best feeling is when the spouse you thought was looking for a divorce comes to you and says:
" why are you acting this way? Why did you not be like this before...I think I need to see a counselor (or coach) I am so so conflicted"
At least those quoted words can make you feel like you have made some progress and there is hope after all!
