Stuck On You

[Raine]

Thanks job and Wonka! You are two amazing ladies who I admire so much. I'm really glad that your insights and support are such a strong part of my threads. I know that your words are continuing to help many many others through such a difficult period of their lives.

Wonka, I've always felt it was so important to be true and post honestly, despite knowing as I put those words out there, they aren't necessarily the guide that people should follow. It's raw and it's emotional and it's human and full of errors. There were a few times I was criticized for saying or doing things that I did, because that was not the divorce busting way, and people were looking to me and following me and I was essentially telling them hey you can be emotional and blow your lid, and it's going to turn out okay. I knew as I wrote things that there were plenty of things that could be picked apart and places where I needed to be better. I know there were times people would be shaking their heads wondering why I hadn't kicked him where it counts and completely destroyed him in a D. But I wasn't writing a self help book of the perfect woman dealing with the perfect affair. Here is is. Reality exposed with all its flaws and emotions.

There is a moment that I never spoke about on here for reasons like that. The moment he has spoken of time and time again as his ultimate rock bottom. I never spoke of it, because how I handled that situation was a complete derail from DB tactics. But at the end of the day, no one knows your spouse like you do. No one knows yourself like you do. There is no cookie cutter methodology for your crisis. You come here and you read and you do the homework and that gives you the tools to know what you need to do in the moments that count. It's like college. You go, you learn, and then you enter the real world and realize nothing that you learned in college actually applies. None of the test answers that you spent hours memorizing ever come up again. It's the tools that you gathered based on a solid foundation of knowledge that makes you excel at work and in life.

His rock bottom was my rock bottom too. In that moment, had I not listen to my heart, had I followed the DB law to the letter, I would be D right now. No doubt about it. And that was such a hard moment for me, because I had to go with what I felt was right for me, rather than whats I knew was right. It wasn't a convincing myself of what I hoped would happen. It wasn't a "praying to change God" moment. It was a let that moment take over and allow it to change me.