One of the things that has helped me is to stop asking why, but also to start looking at H as a different person. This feels a little bit like helping someone with an addiction problem or a mental illness. I don't like it, but it's where he is right now. And just like any traumatic event will change a person, I'm changing as he changes. Will our paths reconverge? I think so.
My path to detachment is a journey, too. I was not ready to do this months ago. It gets easier with time.
