Question for the vets. I am getting conflicting advice from my DB coach vs what I've read on the forums here in regards to the 'friend zone' with my STBX.
If you will remember, I told you in the beginning the more sources of advice you received, the more likely some of it would conflict. You are involved in some other kind of program, have a counselor, a DB coach, and here on the board.
I'm probably the one who made that advice on another poster's thread. But I am quick to add that it's only my opinion, not MWD's. Perhaps someone else passed the advice around, IDK. The LBH is hoping this "friendship" will lead to a reconciliation. But the WAW "uses" it to her advantage in whatever way benefits her, not the R. She cake eats. She doesn't see it the same way he does. He has expectations of a reconciliation. She doesn't. If he tries to pull back, then she whines about him not being a friend. He gets very frustrated, and on & on it goes. He is trapped. This isn't what he thought it would be!
Unless the WAW has so much hatred for the LBH that she never wants to set eyes on him again, saying that she hopes they can be friends is as common as the WAW saying ILYBNILWY.
But it's just my opinion that it doesn't work shortly (or maybe longer) after the bomb, and especially if there is a third party involved.
Quote:
So vets, am I missing something here that would hurt our growth or chances?
Why ask us when you say you're getting conflicting advice? We are just vets, the DB Coaches are the experts.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
