He stated that this was an "Old people party" and that I looked nice or the hottest (can't recall exactly). I thanked him for the compliment. He said don't take it too seriously and look around (old people).

This was not really a compliment. And he told you that.

You are still defining your self, and your life around him. And countless people have tried countless ways to help you see this.

I feel I am very honest. Brutally honest, so that I can get the help I need ... fast... otherwise, its pointless.

I don't believe you want help MM. I believe this ongoing drama serves you.

Maybe I have the wrong take on you, and on DB in general. As I understand it we almost all come here for "help" with our M. We think the tools given here will "fix" the M. Then, we realize, we really need "help" for ourselves, that the only "fixing" we can ever do is internal.

Amazingly patient and kind people have tried to show you what the steps are but you seem to smile and nod... then go ask the next person... to get the same answer. And repeat.

MM, take care of yourself. Respect yourself. You deserve more than the crumbs you are making a feast of.

Peace,

~ Jaye

Me 46 H 56
M 22 yrs
S22, D20, Twin Ss18

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
What you stop.
And what you reinforce.
~~~~~~~
A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.