Hi K, I am not a therapist, but my therapist suggested that my xh is Cluster B which includes Borderline Personality Disorder, (the cluster also includes narcissism)
From what I have read on the boards most people in MLC exhibit BPD or narcissistic behaviour traits. In many cases they functioned for a long time, until they didn't (high functioning BPD). But I wonder if we are skilled at dealing with them, and it is a behaviour pattern that we are comfortable with, in a weird way.
Sadly, until people address their issues and get help, this pattern of behaviour is likely to continue. It is your life, but this man is trouble. He sounds manipulative. You said you are emotionally involved, and in your shoes I would go cold turkey on this, see that you may be somewhat addicted to needy damaged people, and cut him out of your life. He is holding back your development into true emotional health imho.
In his damaged state he appears to fill your emotional needs, which sn't really OK, is it?
As a friend that you felt concerned for, maybe OK, but a relationship with a BPD character, honestly they do not know how. It would all be on you, with them pulling the strings.
They have charm intelligence and wit, but they are not OK.
