Soooo- In Aug 2009 I started my practice. In Nov 2009 H ended up closing the company he started ( first one ever, open 2yrs) due to differences between he and his business partner. He joined a company for a month but wasn't happy. Then took 6 months off trying to figure out what he really wanted to do next. June 2010 he joined a friends company that he respected, but by early 2011 that was acquired by the company he briefly worked for and left in 2009. So he started his own thing again, which went well initially, but by 2013 was running out if funds and acquired by the company he's at now which he hates- and rightfully so they are awful. I actually think the second company might have stayed afloat if he wasn't in such deep MLC and unable to focus.
So the trigger is his career issues that I know he saw as failure (2009)at a time when my practice took off and I was working unbelievable hours from (2010- 2012. Then got more partners and it got better)
Late 2009-2010 I think was denial as he was still reaching out to me and others. 2011 was definitely moving into anger and major personality shifts. I kept saying he was someone I didn't know and I thought it was because of health issues ( diabetes and sleep apnea that he wasn't addressing at the time). A little bit of replay was present in 2011 as well ( Harley in April- after we had agreed it was not good timing- he bought it without asking). Early to mid 2012 was when deep replay happened and the EA took shape as he hired our neighbor to be his assistant. The first bomb was in late 2012- I'm not sure this is going to work, then the I'm going to see a lawyer for a D and we can't work was Sept 2013. I'd say it was at least a year if not two into replay.
So there's my timeline- 2009-2010 is the start. I know it means nothing as to how much longer he has but it is very interesting to look retrospectively at where I've been and am now. I would say 2011 and 2012 were the worst years of our marriage- I cried a lot more than I have since BD. Makes me think I processed a lot of the awful stuff even before I really knew what was happening. And I think God had a big hand in how that all went. I was not the wife I could or should have been and had lost myself in the challenges of starting a practice and the negativity of our marriage. I needed to work on me quite a bit and had things played out differently I might not have had the time or the insight to do the work I've done. For that I am thankful.
So as I said in previous post, I see rare replay behavior and more reaching out. Tonight H called at 930 pm to say he was on the way to the grocery store and did I need anything??? I think that was his excuse to check in with the lighthouse
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
