1st post. Long but please read, help!

[Zues126]

Question for the vets. I am getting conflicting advice from my DB coach vs what I've read on the forums here in regards to the 'friend zone' with my STBX.

STBX made the statement 'I hope we can stay friends' a week ago. She has started acting neighbor friendly- no deep emotional conversations, but a couple of friendly exchanges and texts.

Some threads talk about staying dark and detached to drive home the reality of the D. My DB coach thinks its great and says I should casually invite her to join in some things I'm doing with the kids when I'm visiting (whether its playing a game, going for a walk, etc). She says its all part of building a new relationship based on respect for her autonomy, good will, and collaborative coparenting.

Personally I am going to follow this advice for a few reasons. One, during the R one of my biggest faults was distancing during painful situations. So this is a 180. It also gives me opportunities for her to see my other changes. It allows us to work through details with the kids more easily and show them warm behavior. Most of all, I am appreciative that even if we never go beyond that I would rather forgive and let to of the pain and enjoy the positives we do get to have, even if I wish there would be more at some point.

So vets, am I missing something here that would hurt our growth or chances?