WAW having an A but she denies it #2

[shodan]

We talked some more and I realized that by asking for the truth, I am pushing her away b/c she thinks that is controlling of me. She said breaking into her phone shows that I am controlling. She "explained" away the OM and said they are friends, leaning on each other, etc. She said he is married with two kids.

I don't believe her but I think my tactic of pushing for the truth won't work. I need to show her that I am not controlling. That seems to be her #1 concern and having this A is her decision, not mine. I don't want to be the "gay roommate" but I also know that if she does not see the good times, she will just continue to see my as controlling.

I am a bit confused right now what I should do.