S was upset this morning because H gave him a hug and said he loved him no matter what, right before he left the house this morning. I think it was a wonderful gesture, and I am happy about that. S is a very sensitive kid and I love that they are starting to really bond on a new level. I know H is paranoid that I am telling the kids bad things about him--I HAVE NOT! Anyway S was emotional about it and said that he is worried that h said that because something bad is going to happen. I didn't know how to answer so I said, "Why don't you call dad and ask him". Which is where I should have left it. But instead I got worried that H wouldn't pick up the phone so I texted him to give him the heads up. Now I am mad at myself for crossing that line. I just should have let it be with S calling H. Now I think H feels like he did the wrong thing by hugging him. And when I reread my texts to him I think it sounds like I am accusing him of doing something wrong. The fact that he is so convinced that I have it out for him has me frantic. I know I am mind reading, but his response to me seemed defensive. Why do I have to get so involved all the time??????
BTW: We haven't talked to them about anything going on with us. I am happy go lucky when they are around and we always take our conversations outside. I don't want them to know anything until there is a plan in place. I don't think it is fair for them to have to deal with this torture of limbo that I have been suffering through these past 9 months. But H isn't moving on any plan for S or D. He wants it but can't make it happen. We are still a one car family and he has not had luck trying to get his own car, much less a new place to live.
Anyway I wouldn't be surprised if the kids sense something--especially S who has been acting differently. But every time I talk to him about things it always seems social issues with peers is the issue. I remember the middle school years and I can't tell if this is normal hormonal shifts or if he is picking up on the shift in our family dynamic. The only real big change is that H and I no longer have any PDA around them and I no longer try to convince H to do things with us--no more pushing for family or couple time. We are super polite to each other around them but don't speak much.
Did I totally F up with my response?
Last edited by mustardseed; 07/27/1403:31 PM.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
