Thanks Maybell, quite honestly I don't know that I am different. I still know what changes I need to make but struggle with consistently doing what I need. I am always sad coming back from vacation, it is where I (and H) grew up, most of my family is there and it is just easy to be there. This time is 100 times worse, I guess I feel like that was my chance. And I listen to what he says and it makes sense, it's logical, but I'm not logical, I'm emotional.

I am tired of NOT DOING because it is easier or because I'm afraid I won't be successful. I just don't know how to change.

Me-44 (45)
H- 50 (51)
M-'96

S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)

BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas)
home Oct(sep rooms)
(EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed)
insists wants D through July 2015
no more talk of D since