KGirl - post-move

[KGirl]

Earlier I had posted about H being out of town and how that was stressful because I didn't know what he was doing. I thought he might be visiting his sister and her kids, but now I've found he's actually in Chicago for the weekend. Again. He was in Chicago with his same friend less than a month ago for a weekend. And inbetween those trips, he went to the city where this same friend lives for the weekend. All of these places are a 2-3 hour drive from our city so they also involve travel time. This really got me upset this morning, and there's a lot of reasons why (and here's where I probably need some 2x4's about how unreasonable or assumptive I'm being, or something...
-the cat. It makes me sad that he had to have the cat but he's gone all of the time. She gets lonely when we're gone and if she was with me, I'm here more and she would definitely be taken care of.
-he said he needed this time to think things through and figure himself out. I don't really see how he has time to do that when he's off vacationing all of the time. Seems like he's running away/avoiding things instead of confronting them.
-labug, I was thinking about something you said awhile ago about maybe this is the "real" H (leaving the house and yard in poor shape, etc.) If this is the "real" H and who he really wants to be... I don't think that's what I want in my life. I had also posted awhile ago about balance between "us" time, individual time, and time with others, and this is becoming wayy too unbalanced on the time with others side for me, if we started talking about a future together but he kept these activities up at the same level. In the past when he started to do more things (playing soccer 2-3x a week instead of 1, happy hour after work every week), he'd still spend the same amount of time on his individual activites, so the time that would be cut would be "us" time and "obligation" time (chores, dishes, yardwork, stuff like that.) If the "real" H's balance of activities is like it is now, I can't do that. And I'm only seeing SOME of the trips/whatever he's doing, not everything.

I feel like I'm being overly codependent about this and trying to control the situation, but I'm struggling with how to rethink it. I just have trouble believing that he's thinking things through and being introspective, but rather just out having fun because he doesn't have me there telling him he needs to balance all these friend-activities with other things that need to get done.