I don't get what you are asking. From going through your past posts it doesn't seem like you actually tried working on the M, just waiting for your H to change.
Did you even read the books? You haven't given much in terms of what your situation is so we wouldn't even know what you need.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
