This morning, wife came down and asked if we could spend the day together with our kids. I was in a grouchy mood because of all the lies still. She caught me at the wrong time and so I told her that I had made plans with the kids already. It didn't include her. She changed her attitude right away and asked me with anger " so you don't want to see me anymore?" I didn't answer. Then she asked again, "so this is what you want, you don't want to see me anymore right?" I answered, "Im not sure, but as of right now, I don't." Then i asked her if she talked to that mf? she said no. I kbew she was lying so I put my hand up towards her and said dont say anything else. I don't want to hear lies." She closed the door with an attitude and left. I didn't pursue. I just continued my day. About 30 mins past and she comes down to get our cc statements and other household bills to pay. She had an attitude and i did not initiate conversation. Then, when we were standing next to each other. I put both of my hands on her shoulder, looked her in the eyes and said, " just yesterday you said you wanted to work on our R, you said things to me that I want to believe in but I don't. If you want me to believe in your words then do whatever you can to make me believe. And you know if we are ever going to make us work, you need to stop all contact with that mf ( sorry to swear, but that's how it went down). She looked me in the eyes and said "I know."
Something I forgot to mention, she said to me the other day when I was laying down my boundaries (couple days ago when she made a move towards our MR), she told me to trust her in handling the end of her contact with OM. Maybe she is doing it and doesn't want me to think that they still have an A going on. Oh believe me everyone, I'm as skeptical as ever. I don't trust my W one bit at this time because of all the lies. I'm sure anyone in my Sitch would feel the same.
So then she started cooking lunch and wanted to know if I wanted to eat. I said no. Then when she was almost done making lunch she said eat some lunch ok. I obliged. We ate together and everything was calm. Right after I was done, I thanked her and said it was good. Then I left.
At this point, I sense that she knows that I will leave her for good. So I'm mind reading that she may be ending the contacts with OM her way. However, and that's a big HOWEVER, I am still skeptical and haven't given up on the thought that I am getting played. If I am, I admit, she's really good at it. In my entire time of knowing my W, I've never seen her act so real to any kind of ploy. Usually, if not always, I know that if she was not happy with me she would go silent and ignore me. So why all the attention right now? If she is planning on being with the OM in the end, why is she so nice now to me? I ask myself, what do i have that she doesn't want me to do now? Is it because of my evidence of the A, that they do not wante to expose it to the OM wife? Why should it matter now if the OM wife already found out on her own? The only thing I can think of is she still wants me to continue to take care of our business while leading up to the big D. But I am doing it, even after I mentioned to her that I was done and and not fighting for our M anymore. It's like what MWD described about the seesaw. I backed off in fighting for our M now W is showing some signs of fighting for our M even though its very limited. Limited because she's still figuring out if she can be happy with our R.
Well as of now, I'm just taking one day at a time GAL and doing the things I want to do.
