Told my W I didn't want her coming and taking anything until I had a chance to go through all of it. She (again) goes straight to angry. I tell her this is my home and she can't just take what she wants until we agree to who gets what and the D is final. She says "No, before the D is final I have to have my stuff in my house, your stuff here. Until then the D can't be finalized." Then says that the house is still "half hers"! Sorry, she moved out and until the D is final she can't come and go from my home as she pleases! I look at her and tell her according to the decree she gave me she can't take anything until all is agreed to! She says that if I need her to make a list and have the lawyer write it up, I can pay the $300 it will cost HER! I say, my lawyer is paid for. She says that if I would just allow her to take what she wants then she won't have to pay! So if I don't just do that I should have to pay HER lawyer!
She then goes all "nice" and says "I don't want to make this harder for you but this is just so stressful coming back and forth for stuff". I tell her that it's stressful when you tell me a day before that you are coming and I have to do what you want. That I have no where to put the stuff that came out of the desk she already took, the furniture she already took. That the closet can't even be used as it's still full of her clothes! She says I should have just stuffed her clothes into bags or gone and bought boxes and put HER stuff into them! I am so pissed at her. I know what she's doing, she's trying to get everything she can before she has to finalize the D and say she has it already so it's hers! At that point she can renege on the agreement she made that I can have the house. This is mind reading but why else would she be doing it backwards like this? I need to remember that she is taking advice from her father and he ripped her mom off badly, dragging the D out 11 years to avoid CS.
This is unbelievable. Now she called and said "How about if I only take (3 of the things she said she wanted) tomorrow". I told her that that would be easier and she said "Thanks!" and hung up! I didn't actually say yes! What is wrong with her? I'm going to text her later and say that she can't come tomorrow. That my lawyer needs to be made aware of how she has been taking all the stuff she wants BEFORE the agreement is made because she thinks that is the way to save money on her legal fees. Here I've been trying to be more than "fair" and she can only think about herself. I asked my MIL about the estate sale stuff. Even she says that theres nothing morally wrong with my keeping some of it.
So, I think it's time to make some boundaries and make them stick. I've had enough of my W's chit and she wakes up and understands just what SHE did by filing for D. That she can't just get through it getting everything SHE wants and screwing me and her D's over. Time to make my stand for what is best for me and mine. Isn't it just as likely that she will remarry and her new H not give the "family" things to our kids or grandkids? How is it she is allowed to make up things that she says I will do when I haven't once been anything but be respectful?
Yes, I'm spinning. Yes, I am losing my cool. I still have hours of work to do before she comes tomorrow. I will tell her that she can take 2 of the 3 things she said she wants to take. If she tries to take any more I will tell her that if she does I will have my lawyer file a contempt charge. Time for her to stop this. So, she's still "stressed" and so now wants to put the blame on me for not boxing up all her stuff so I can fit all my things that are stored in the furniture she wants to take. Wow, talk about really trying hard to find a way to keep blaming her stress on me! I should have known she would find some way to keep blaming her inability to cope with everyday life stress on me. We must always be the bad guy, must always be the reason whether we even have contact with them or not!
