I think you need to go back to the goal-setting chapter of DR and be more precise in your goals. If your W isn't scolding you for the past, then what is she doing? How do you respond? And so on.
I've oversimplified it so go back to the book and start at step one.
Best wishes for a successful reconciliation, and keep posting as you explore this.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
