So, the common friend ^^^^ who talked to W the other day and them IM'd me some details phoned me today to talk some more.

Friend says W is all over the map - talking divorce, but not sure of anything.
But at least it's clear now that W is starting to think about the logistics of D.

Again W brought up that she didn't think I'd go back to MC. Friend referred her back to the part in my letter where I said "there was lots of help available to us". Friend assured her that MC is just one kind of help that I was talking about.

Then W wonders about health insurance for herself.

Then she talks about selling house and buying herself one in same school district.

Then she says "Ideal situation would be Zew and I legally separate, but live together in an open marriage, in current house, and kids are home with both parents."

Ya. Clearly the "ideal" situation. This is why I don't believe in S at all, at all.

W is still on about hiding money, and is afraid that I will never change the parent/child relationship we have over finances. This is a tough one. She has rightly identified our financial relationship. It was never intentional, as I've said before, but over the years, her CC's and irresponsible spending have kind of cemented that relationship. I still think that could be fixed, but it will take trust, and I know I will never give her joint control of all assets.

Friend is encouraging me to go over full financials with W, not because she'll understand it, but because it will take it off the table, and since they'll come out in filing anyway, why not.

It irks me to no end that W even makes the accusation, and I would really rather only go over finances with her once she's back in the M. Otherwise, my finances just become more fodder for the posse's grist mill, and the next round of conspiracy theories. And if I were to clear this up, what would the next roadblock be? Can something as simple as finances, which she brings up in every conversation with everyone really be her deal breaker? I can't believe that, but I'm not my W.

Then friend asked me point blank - "Zew, even if W wants to come back, how would you ever trust her?" And this person was my W's bff for about 10 years, before we moved to different cities. And I now wonder if my only motivation for even trying is purely the kids. I told friend, I really wasn't interested if W only wanted to "try", at this point, I want to see real commitment. You know, Yoda - "Do, or do not. There is no try." That may be asking more than she'll ever have to give.


And then W IM'd me again tonight to buy her cell phone upgrade. She's fuming that I won't order it, and won't give her access to the account so she can do it. I'm proving her "controlling" accusation. And then I see her posting pictures on FB of she and posse going for horse drawn taxi rides in the city today, wondering who is paying for that, and not feeling bad at all about controlling. She has money. I just don't want to buy another thing until we have a "chat" about where we stand when I get back.