It would help if you stick to one thread at a time. I posted on the other one, but will repeat in part here. My point about knowing what's going on with him is not to catch him in an A as much as it is to find out if he has lied to you since before getting married. He has consistently hid things about his life from you. You can't have honesty in the M when one is a habitual liar. Please read my post on your other thread.
An affair is serious, but a chronic or physiological liar is worse, IMHO, b/c it is usually a life long behavior. It brings as much devastation as infidelity can. An affair can end. You can heal and move on. (Unless he is a serial cheater, then he'll do it again.) But, JMHO. Don't live the rest of your life with a man who won't be honest and open with his wife. You will never be able to believe or trust him. Find out once and for all who you married.
Once again, for anyone who just viewed this post, this advice is not my usual about snooping on S to check out A status, but this is not about that particular problem. It is b/c this WAH was lying before the wedding and continued to hide personal information from his W. I think it hints strongly of other issues. I hope I am wrong!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
