Finding my way - part 3

[Meghan]

TO: I definitely think that he's been rewriting things. I have by no means been perfect, but his reading of things is mind-blowing. There have a been a few times where I've simply asked, "Is that really how you see me?" because I can't believe some of the things he seems to think and the accusations that have been made.

He sees every kiss, every hug, every nice gesture as something that I get something out of, not as something that I do for him, too. He doesn't seem to see that I've done a lot for him over the last four years too, and that perhaps we weren't meeting each others needs rather than me just not meeting his.

I have had my concerns about some of the things that he's said about the 18 year old. I can't say that they've completely gone away, which has been a bit of a problem. Not knowing has made figuring out how I should handle the situation a more challenging because what's going on there could change the dynamic.

My concern is if there is something going on I don't want to be giving him any kind of implicit permission or let him think that this is okay. But, if there's not, I want to do what I can to help fix the issues. Right now, I'm trying to focus on GALs and 180s that benefit me but that also address some of his complaints about the relationship. There are times it feels really tough to figure out what to do, though.