Eyes on the prize...

[artsy]

Am I bi-polar??!!!

I'm reeeeaaaaallllllly tired of the emotional swings. And I'm talking about mine

Nothing new has happened- I'm just in my head too much. I hate it. I get out of the house as much as I can, but the thoughts still creep back in. I'm sure time will take care if that.

I've decided to not be here when he comes. I don't feel good about myself when I have contact with him. So, I'm going to a party.

GB will appreciate this :

Side note: in the depths of my pity party the last few days, I went to the prayer room at my church. It's a great space where you can sit and meditate. There are bibles and books with scriptures for specific situations. I thinks it's called : what the bible says about...

Well, as I'm sitting there bawling, I pray for some kind of SOMETHING. Anything. I pray for strength a lot. This one was more silent because of my mental state at the time. It was really more of a cry for help or mercy.

I picked up the book next to me and opened it to a random page (I do this a lot, especially with scripture). I opened up the book and landed on the first page of the "Marital Problems" page! Immediately the first verse that strikes me is 1 Peter 3:

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Of course, cue more tears!

I feel like this scripture is the definition of DBing an MLC H.

I get signs like this all the time (documented in my other threads). I guess I keep fighting the good fight until God tells me to move on.