KGirl - post-move

[KGirl]

Feeling really defeated today. Like, crying in the grocery store parking lot kind of defeated. I submitted two pre-approval applications online for car loans so I could see what I would qualify for, and one just outright said they couldn't process my application, and the other said I'd have to call and provide more information (which I can't do now until Monday). I'm hoping it's just something innocuous like clarifying my address, because I have excellent credit so I don't know what the issue would be.... unless my debt to income ratio is too high because my name is on a mortgage AND an apartment =| It's like H's wish for me to not take out a loan has been broadcast to the universe and set up a bunch of barriers. It makes me question whether or not I want to hope things will change. I still want answers to things that don't have answers, like: How can someone not even be able to decide to try or not try to work on our M? It's not as if he has to commit to sticking with me forever.. just trying to see what happens. How could someone you counted on for things (like basic transportation) just say adios and then get angry when you have to take steps to arrange those things for yourself since they've chosen to take themselves out of the equation? I don't know. Staying married to H seems to be causing me more trouble lately than it is worth.